So you think you’re going to get away with it, do you? I know what kind of arrogant, self-satisfied asshole you are. You do what you please, you don’t care what hurt you do to other people, and you walk away intact. Untouchable. That’s what you think. That’s how you operate.

Well, moron, this isn’t going to be one of those times. And I’m not going to be one of those people you can do that to. Don’t believe me? Well watch.

I’ve thought about how I’m going to get back at you. Given it long thought. I’ve considered the options. I’ve gotten lots of advice from people, people who would like me to pay you back equivalent to what you’ve done to me. Sue you. That’s the most common response. Damage your property. That’s another one. One person even suggested I run you over.

Well, I don’t think any of those are sufficient payback. Not for what you’ve done. Sue you? Sure, and go through maybe years of litigation, incur more and more expenses, keep the lawyers fat and happy on both sides. And maybe win in the end, maybe not. But even if I do I’m left with a piece of paper that I’ll then have to go through more motions, more expenses, more humiliation, and then maybe, or more likely maybe not, be able to get anything out of you.

After all, wasn’t it you who said you’d love to see me in court? Who said, spouting the cliché, you can’t get blood from a turnip? Well, maybe you can’t get blood from a turnip, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t blood to be gotten. Lots of it.

Damage your property? Now let’s see. If I key your nice shiny truck, you’ll be pissed off, sure. But a scratch can be fixed. Slash your tires? That’ll set you down on your ass for awhile, no doubt about it. But tires can be replaced. And you’d probably get the insurance company to pay for the damage. That’s payback? Not how I figure it.

Sink your boat? Yeah, now there’s an idea. Appropriate one, too. Though it’s not as easily done as it might seem. Not without a true stroke of idiocy, such as you are capable of. Yeah, it’s certainly something I’ve thought about, but I don’t think so.

Burn your house down? Well, maybe you’d be in it and burn up with it, and that would be pretty good payback. But you might run out, too. And then you’d be the one getting the insurance settlement and the nice new house. No, that won’t do, either.

I’m sure I’m not the first person you’ve fucked over that has plotted how to get back at you. Damned sure, in fact. I’ll probably be getting in a long line of aggrieved people who would love to pay you back. And I’d bet those people thought of nearly every way they could to make you pay for what you’ve done. No doubt about that, knowing the scumbag you are.

But you see, I’m not like the others. Maybe I’m more aggrieved, I don’t know. Maybe not. Doesn’t matter. I know I have a very big score to settle with you, and that’s all that matters to me. And I know when I do something, I want it to be memorable. I want you to know the score has been evened, that there is no doubt about it. More than evened. Payback with interest. Lots and lots of interest.

So that’s what I’ve been thinking. How to pay you back in a way that you’ll never forget. I don’t know if you can change your ways, I think you might be too far gone for that, but I want to pay you back in such a way that, whether you change your shitty ways or not, you’ll be changed, changed inside, changed forever. That’s the kind of payback I have in mind. The kind of payback you’re going to get.

I know you’ve laughed at me, laughed at the damage you’ve done, just as you’ve laughed at who knows how many others. Well, remember the old saying, will you? It’s he who laughs last who laughs best. And I intend to be the one who laughs last. And always. And I know you won’t be laughing then, when I am.

You probably don’t believe I’m capable of it. People like you never think anyone else is capable of standing up to them in a way that gets their attention, that will make them feel what they’ve made their victims feel. But this time you’re wrong. Even if you’ve never been wrong before, you’re wrong this time. And you’re about to find out how wrong you are.

I don’t want to brag, and I certainly don’t want to spread the word around. This is between me and you. And it’s you who I want to pay back, not me. So I’m not telling a soul what I’m planning. But when I do it, when I carry it out, you’ll know who did it. It’ll eat at you, will it ever, since you won’t be able to prove it. But you’ll know. You’ll know.

And that’s what brings me here today. Why I’m standing outside this school. Why I’m waiting for the final bell to sound. Why I have my plan settled, and all I have to do is put it into action. And you’ll get the payback you deserve.

So now I hear the bell and the children pour out of the building and into the schoolyard and past the fence onto the sidewalk where I’m standing. And I have something to say, besides this. Just one thing. To just one darling little thing. So let me say it.

“Hello, sweetheart.”